How to get through your first Mother's Day without your mom
It’s never easy to spend your first Mother’s Day without your mother. Emotions are running high, and reminders of the holiday can be found everywhere. It’s a never-ending bombardment of TV commercials, billboards, and emails from your favorite brands that can rekindle painful memories.
With all of the intensity, it can be tempting to ignore it, hide away, and allow yourself to be hurt. However, doing so is not always beneficial. Indeed, many psychologists agree that remembering your mother on Mother’s Day is the healthiest way to cope with your loss.
And why not celebrate Mother’s Day? There is no better time to honor her memory and reflect on all the wonderful times you shared with her throughout her life.
While it may be painful and difficult to accept the idea of celebrating Mother’s Day without your mother, here are a few ideas that you can try to remember your mother and make the day’s pain just a little bit more bearable.
DO SOMETHING YOUR MOTHER LOVED
The thought of stepping up and doing something big in honor of your mother can be daunting, especially if this is your first Mother's Day without her. Nobody expects you to go all out, and you are not required to. Doing something small instead is often much easier and can be much more meaningful.
Celebrating your mother does not have to be complicated; it can be as simple as planting her favorite flowers or eating a slice of her favorite cake while watching a movie you both loved.
Whether you practice self-care, spend time with other family members, or reflect on some fond memories, simply acknowledging that you're remembering your mother on Mother's Day in your own unique way can be immensely helpful.
WRITE HER A MOTHER'S DAY CARD
It may seem strange, but writing a heartfelt Mother's Day card can be one of the most effective ways to cope with the grief of spending your first Mother's Day without your mother.
It can be difficult to fully process emotions in our heads at times. Taking the time to sit down and write out our thoughts and feelings forces our minds to slow down and allows us to express everything that is going on inside of us.
If you choose to send a Mother's Day card, you can fill it with meaningful messages about how much you miss her, or you can write it as if she were still alive, expressing how much she means to you.~ We may have lost your father in the physical sense, but his spirit will live on through all the lessons he taught us over the years.
TALK TO OTHERS WHO LOVE YOUR MOM
Wanting solitude may be the best option for some people who miss their mom on Mother's Day, but for others, the idea of being alone can be equally upsetting.
So, as part of celebrating and remembering your mother on Mother's Day, it never hurts to spend the day with your siblings or close friends.
This could include going to your mother's favorite restaurant, taking a walk to her favorite spot, or even trying out an activity she used to enjoy. In any case, having company allows you and others to share all of their fond memories of your mother.
You could consider making this a new tradition by making it the day when you celebrate everything wonderful about your mom while honoring her memory in your own special way.
IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO TO MOTHER'S DAYS CELEBRATIONS
It's perfectly fine if you're not sure you're ready to face this holiday.
First and foremost, you must care for your mental health. So, even if your siblings want you to attend a memorial service in her honor, you are under no obligation to do so.
Remember, if all you want to do is disconnect from all forms of media and spend the day alone, there is nothing wrong with that, and you should not feel guilty about it. Whatever you're feeling — anger, anxiety, sadness — it's all valid and understandable.
Don't feel bad about feeling a certain way, and don't feel obligated to apologize for your feelings.
VISIT HER FINAL RESTING PLACE
Visiting the spot where you said your final goodbye to your mom can be a good first step toward finding closure.
Take some time out of your day to visit her grave or the location where her ashes were scattered. Cemeteries are naturally quiet places that provide much-needed peace and quiet for gentle contemplation.
If you're missing your mother on Mother's Day but don't feel ready to visit her final resting place, a simple alternative could be to plant a small tree or flowers in her honor. This allows you to visit her whenever you want until you're ready for an official visit.
Be that friend who cares!
Send them a gift to show them you care and are there for them. Sometimes gifts are the words you cannot find.